Youtuber and influencer Dee van der Zeeuw (24) is deeply grateful for the approximately 30,000 messages she says she received in the past 24 hours, after she announced that she had had three miscarriages. In her longest vlog ever she tells today how that went and although she saw deep valleys, she sounds especially hopeful. “I am a born mother.”
Dee, with 1.4 million Instagram followers one of the most popular influencers in the Netherlands, tells in her very candid vlog how she had three different ‘types’ of miscarriages in the past eleven months.
The first was ‘spontaneous’, when she was in the shower and suddenly lost blood. The second time involved an ectopic pregnancy, after which one of her fallopian tubes was surgically removed. Last time she had a so-called missed miscarriage, where the fetus in her abdomen turned out to be no longer alive, but she didn’t realize this herself, because her body showed no symptoms.
,,They are all intense in their own way”, says Demira, as her full name is. ,,When I look at what it does to you emotionally, what it does to you physically… You are kind of disappointed. Not necessarily in your own body, also a little, but also just in destiny.”
Bad Netflix series
Dee has been in a relationship with Lars Gerbrands (27) for three years now, with whom she bought a house two years ago. “It kind of feels like you’ve arrived in season three of your Netflix series, and they suddenly think: we have to let something go wrong, otherwise it won’t be exciting anymore. That’s how my life feels right now,” said Van der Zeeuw.
In the video she speaks candidly about the most difficult moments, from a lonely stay in the hospital in corona time and the sometimes poor communication she experienced there to the terrible feeling in her body during the third miscarriage. “I imagined my life very differently, I could have given birth twice already,” she says. And later: “You don’t want to go on at all, you just feel like lying on your bed and crying all the time.”
But she kept going. Sharing her story is part of that. Dee, who has made sharing her life her job, initially only wanted to talk about the miscarriages if a pregnancy would go well. That’s not the case now. ,,But after three miscarriages, the cake is a bit gone. It’s time to give yourself some rest and just share it. Also because I know there are a lot of people in the same position.”
That turned out to be: Van der Zeeuw said he received about 30,000 messages. ,,The support of others does me so much good and I wish everyone that. So please, if you want to tell your story, do it. It gives you breathing room.”
Ever since I had a doll I knew I wanted to be a mother
Born mother
Despite the setbacks, she sounds hopeful and positive. The best quote I received was: in the end, everything will be okay. And if it’s not okay, it’s not the end (“In the end everything will be fine and if it’s not good, it’s not the end”). I totally agree, so we’re not giving up, we’re holding on and we’re holding on to hope.”
After all, Dee is a “born mother,” she says. “Ever since I had a doll, I knew I wanted to be a mother. I have the sweetest man in the world, who I can share everything with, who I can talk to very well, and I hope we can get to you very soon with good news, that would be the most wonderful. And even with bad news, I’m happy to share it with you.”
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source https://pledgetimes.com/vlogger-dee-had-three-types-of-miscarriages-but-holds-hope-i-am-a-born-mother/
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